


Pacify.

by OctoberDecember



Series: Shadowhunters/Sexy One-Shots [3]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Anal Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Alec Lightwood, Hand Jobs, Hurt Magnus Bane, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Roughness, Shameless Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 08:27:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14712617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OctoberDecember/pseuds/OctoberDecember
Summary: "Magnus..." Alec's tone was weak and wounded, as he kept his hands completely off Magnus' body. "If you want me to go...I'll go...If you really hate me now...If that's what you want..."Magnus' sobbing only got louder, as he began to fold in on himself. "I don't hate you...I don't hate you...I love you more than there are words for, Alexander...And if you had actually been taken from me...I...I..." Magnus' gasps took over again, with his hands moving to cover his face—Suddenly, Alec shifted Magnus' body back towards his own, as he once again leaned down to kiss his warlock.This time, Magnus accepted Alec's kiss, but there was no longer anything gentle about it.





	Pacify.

"Stay." 

"Magnus, you know I can't—" 

"How do you know you can't? Alexander, you've never tried." 

Alec sighed against Magnus' shoulder, as he lightly rested his arm across Magnus' waist. This had been the nature of their conversations for the past few days. There'd been an inexplicable increase in demonic activity across the city, which meant that Alec was expected to be at every Institute strategy meeting—

Expected to greet every Clave member the very second they arrived in New York—

Expected to be the face of the New York Institute and serve as a monument to Shadowhunter leadership—

And expected to sacrifice any and all of his free time for the good of his people. 

Even if it was barely the crack of dawn. 

Even if he was happily sleeping beside the love of his life. 

Alec shuffled closer to Magnus in their bed, as he gently pressed his lips against his warlock's temple. "Is it really fair for you to be so upset with me? If there was ever an issue with the warlocks, I would expect you to do the same." 

Magnus quietly laughed, as he stared down his Shadowhunter. "You think I'm _upset_ with you, Alexander?" 

Alec nodded in response, before letting out a heavy sigh. "You've been like this for days." 

"I'm not _upset_." Magnus ran his palm down Alec's arm, reaching for Alec's waiting hand. "I'm...terrified..." Magnus gently squeezed Alec's hand, before he whispered through the rest of his own brewing thoughts. "I know how...integral...you've become to The New York Institute. I know how much the Clave wants to claim you as their golden-boy, their perfect, angelic soldier...Which means that they won't hesitate to have you out on the front lines. You're their first call for a reason, Alexander, and that's because they expect you to be able to handle anything..." 

"But you don't share their belief in my abilities?" Alec offered Magnus a barely-there smirk, as he ran his thumb over Magnus' knuckles. 

"Alexander...I just...I want you to come home..." Magnus kept his voice low, now moving his face even closer to Alec's. "I always want you to come home...But...Maybe someday you won't...And..." Magnus' words trailed off into nothing... 

Because he couldn't find the strength to finish his own sentence. 

"Hey." Alec's fingers gently caressed Magnus' cheek, while Alec looked deep into Magnus' eyes. "Tonight, Magnus...I promise you that I will come home." 

"Soldiers can't make those kind of promises..." Magnus' words had a learned wisdom to them, as he shifted his gaze away from Alec's face. "And soldiers can't always _keep_ those kind of promises." 

"I'm not making a promise to you as a Shadowhunter. I'm making a promise to you as _Alexander_." Alec brightly smiled, before he tenderly set his fingers underneath Magnus' chin, turning Magnus' face back towards his own. "Magnus. Tonight, I will come home. I promise." 

Magnus beamed over at Alec, before settling in closer against Alec's chest. "I'm holding you to that, Alexander. And lying to a warlock is said to bring you atrocious luck for at least the next seventeen years." 

"Well, seventeen years of bad luck to a dead man is no time at all..." Alec shrugged, before a grin broke out across his face. 

Magnus openly rolled his eyes at Alec's bad joke, completely annoyed beyond belief—

Before pulling Alec's head downward for a passionate kiss goodbye. 

********************** 

"This is bullshit." Jace leaned against a nearby wall, as he folded his arms across his chest. "They have us pulling doubles now? For what? Something that _might_ be going bump in the night? No one's even seen anything yet." 

"It's standard Clave protocol. Everyone's on high alert until they're not." Alec glanced around the dark alley once more, keeping his attention focused and sharp. 

"Yeah, Alec, I'm aware of Clave protocol. You're not the only one who read the books." Jace scoffed as he ran his stele over various runes on his forearm. "Doesn't mean it's not bullshit. I had pretty big plans tonight." 

"And I'm going to assume that those _plans_ involved Clary Fairchild, as well?" 

"You assume correctly, brother." Jace smirked to himself, as he placed his stele back at his side. "I was actually going to ask her...about...moving in together. Maybe." 

"Maybe? As in, you were going to ask her if she _maybe_ wanted to move in with you? Or you're still deciding if you _maybe_ want to ask her the question at all?" Alec had a smirk on his face now, too, as he looked over at Jace. "Why the hesitation, Jace? The worst thing she can say is no. Or are you afraid that she might actually say _'yes'_?" 

"You know, Alec, I always forget that your two biggest skill-sets are archery and being a fucking asshole." Jace broke out into a boisterous laugh after his own words, and Alec soon joined him in shared laughter—

Until there was suddenly a knife sticking straight out of Jace's abdomen. 

The attack had been so fast that Alec couldn't have seen it coming. 

The same attacker now circled Alec— 

But since they'd already sacrificed the element of surprise, Alec was much more prepared to handle their incoming blows, effortlessly blocking their hands, move after move. 

Alec quickly forced them against the wall, ready to handle an impromptu interrogation—

But he noticed that the attacker's eyes— 

The man's eyes— 

Were wild with hunger. 

This was a newly born vampire... 

The man struggled against Alec's hold, but Alec managed to maintain a solid grip—

Until there was a sudden aching at both of Alec's sides. 

Alec didn't understand the pain— 

He didn't _want_ to understand the pain—

As he made an executive decision on behalf of The New York Institute. 

These vampires were a danger to Mundanes, and a danger to the Shadow World—

And for that, they would have to die. 

Alec withdrew his custom seraph blade, a special weapon designed by The Clave, able to take on the properties of a wooden stake or turn its blade entirely into silver— 

And he forcefully drove the blade into the vampire's chest. 

Alec spun around to face three new attackers, and even as he felt their stinging swipes and deep slices against his skin, he stayed focused on the task at hand: 

_Making good on his promise to Magnus Bane._

When the alley was clear of all signs of life, Alec dropped his blade to the ground. 

He was suddenly so very tired. 

Standing up felt...impossible. 

As Alec felt himself gravitating towards the alley's cold pavement, he could hear Jace let out a piercing scream. 

The last image behind Alec's eyes was of Jace falling towards the pavement, as well— 

While Jace's hands were desperately pressing against his own parabatai rune... 

As if the rune was burning Jace alive. 

*************** 

Alec woke up in the Institute's private infirmary. 

He blankly stared up at its ceiling, before moving his gaze down towards his chest— 

His stomach— 

His sides—

He seemed...perfectly fine. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Jace hovering over his bed, a look of worry etched into his face. "Alec? Alec! Shit! You finally woke up!" 

"Finally woke up..." Alec quietly mouthed the words, as the realization sank into his chest. "Jace...How long was I out?" 

"Three days, man. You were fucking gone for three days." Jace released a shallow breath, as he roughly patted Alec on the shoulder. "I...I think I felt you almost die..." 

"Was there a report filed with The Clave? About our attackers?" Alec's voice was stoic, as he tried to process the information as it came to him... 

_He was unconscious for three days..._

_He apparently almost died..._

The facts sat heavy on his heart, while he waited for Jace to fill in the rest of the story. 

"Yeah. Some fucking piece of shit has just been turning Mundanes left and right. We think they wanted to cause mass chaos, wanted to expose the Shadow World, wanted to bring down the whole system..." Jace's eyes filled with anger, as his fists clenched near his side. "They were training up their own little army, too, which is why those newborns were so good with those weapons. But you...uh...you really know how to take a stabbing. I've never seen anybody take a stabbing like that and still kick everyone's asses." 

Jace lightly smiled down at Alec, obviously attempting to lighten the harrowing mood. 

"Can I...Can I go home?" Alec asked the question quietly, as he sat up in his infirmary bed. "Actually, I _need_ to go home. Will you cover for me?" 

"Yeah, I'll just tell everybody that you're having a hard time in the bathroom." Jace nodded to himself, as he offered Alec a helping hand out of bed. "No problem." 

Alec nodded in return, completely ignoring Jace's juvenile sense of humor—

There was someone that Alec desperately needed to see. 

************************ 

Magnus hadn't eaten in three days. 

From time to time, he would let blue sparks whirl around his fingertips, as he magically restored and refreshed the same dishes that he'd cooked for he and Alec three nights ago. 

He wanted to keep their dinner warm. 

The thoroughly empty wine glasses and pristine, white plates were still in the same place at the table— 

Unused, untouched... 

Magnus knew that he was in denial. 

He'd heard the rumors of Jace's deafening screams once they'd brought him back to The Institute. 

The kind of scream that tears through a Shadowhunter when a piece of their soul is ripped out of their very bodies. 

The kind of scream that signals the end of the parabatai bond. 

And Magnus knew that Alexander was not coming home tonight— 

Because Alexander was never coming home again. 

And yet, Magnus couldn't convince himself of the truth. 

Instead, he was willing to sit and wait, even if took years, even if it took decades... 

Because Magnus would do anything if it meant that he could still pretend that Alec Lightwood was alive and well. 

Magnus would do anything, if it meant that he never had to admit that he'd lost a piece of his soul the same night that Jace lost his piece, too. 

As the clock struck midnight, Magnus casually turned in for the evening. Magnus' eyes, yet again, remained completely dry, as he'd successfully numbed himself from the inside out. Because Magnus knew that if he ever shed one tear over his Alexander, he would never, ever be able to stop the weeping... 

And he would never be the same again. 

*************** 

Magnus slightly shifted in his over-sized bed— 

As he felt an arm wrapping tightly around his own waist. 

The window blinds in Magnus' bedroom revealed that it was still dark outside— 

And the all-too-familiar scent of Alec Lightwood immediately revealed to Magnus who the mysterious arm around his waist belonged to. 

However, instead of feeling relieved at the miraculous return of his Shadowhunter... 

Magnus could feel nothing but anger burning through his skin. 

He quickly called upon his magic, sending faux electric sparks through his pores and against Alec's touch. The sparks weren't meant to harm Alec, but Magnus wanted to dissuade Alexander from so casually touching him in the night. 

While he expected Alec to instantly let him go, the Shadowhunter only held onto Magnus that much tighter. "It's okay, Magnus...It's okay...You can be mad at me. I fucked up. I'm sorry." 

"You lied to me." Magnus' rage came through his every word, as he shook his head against his pillow. "You are a liar, Alec Lightwood." 

"So...It's _Alec_ , now?" Alec's voice slightly raised with his question, as he gently kissed the back of Magnus' shoulder. "I don't get any credit at all, do I? Not even for coming home—" 

Something in Magnus finally snapped, as he turned to face Alec. He could feel the tears burning right through him now, as he forcefully moved Alec's arm away from his waist. "I thought you died! I thought you died..." 

Magnus' voice cut out, as he was overtaken by his own gasping sobs. 

Alec leaned down towards Magnus, starting to press a gentle kiss against Magnus' lips— 

But Magnus moved his head away at the last second, turning back around in their bed. 

"Magnus..." Alec's tone was weak and wounded, as he kept his hands completely off Magnus' body. "If you want me to go...I'll go...If you really hate me now...If that's what you want..." 

Magnus' sobbing only got louder, as he began to fold in on himself. "I don't hate you...I don't hate you...I love you more than there are words for, Alexander...And if you had actually been taken from me...I...I..." Magnus' gasps took over again, with his hands moving to cover his face—

Suddenly, Alec shifted Magnus' body back towards his own, as he once again leaned down to kiss his warlock. 

This time, Magnus accepted Alec's kiss, but there was no longer anything gentle about it. Alec's tongue pressed deep into Magnus' mouth, nearly taking Magnus' breath away with its repeatedly invasive nature. Magnus soon moaned into their shared kiss, as he forcefully pushed his own hips upward, shamelessly grinding into his Shadowhunter's crotch. 

Without warning, Alec tore his mouth away from Magnus', quickly lifting Magnus' shirt up and off his head. Alec then roughly kissed all along Magnus' chest, combining his tender-less kisses with bites against Magnus' skin. 

Between his pleasurable groans, Magnus attempted to sweetly run his hands through Alec's hair— 

But Alec grabbed onto Magnus' wrists and swiftly crossed them over Magnus' head. 

"Stay." Alec's words came out as a growl, as he went back to working on Magnus' chest. Magnus hopelessly continued to grind against Alec, his body so desperately needing release. 

"Alexander...Please..." Magnus managed to groan out between his own salacious noises. "Please..." 

Alec abruptly reached down into Magnus' pants and firmly grabbed onto Magnus' cock, beginning to steadily stroke Magnus' length. When Alec felt familiar beads of pre-come forming at the head of Magnus' cock, he hastily ran his hand over Magnus' slit, now using the pre-come as lubrication for his continued stroking. 

Magnus whimpered directly into Alec's mouth, as he could feel himself getting closer and closer. Alec seemed to have noticed Magnus' current state, as he sped up his stroking of Magnus' cock, purposely racing faster and faster—

Until Magnus emphatically shuddered and shivered, soon covering Alec's hand in his come. 

Alec then proceeded to pull down Magnus' pants entirely, revealing Magnus' now satiated cock. Alec moved further downwards, until his mouth was aligned with Magnus' sensitive rim, soon pressing his tongue against Magnus in a way that always made him writhe with pleasure. 

"Alexander...I can't...Everything's too sensitive..." Magnus quietly whined, as he looked down at his Shadowhunter. "Please just let me do it the old-fashioned way." 

"Mmhmm." Alec's response came in the form of humming against Magnus' skin, as Alec began to take off his own pants, as well. "Do it fast. I need to be inside you." 

Magnus' magic swirled through his fingertips just in time, as he soon felt Alec's cock promptly sliding into him, his pace already fast and hard. 

As Alec steadily pumped into him, Magnus felt Alec's lips against his neck, roughly sucking Magnus' skin. Magnus whimpered yet again, as he pushed down against Alec's hips, rocking forward to meet them with each thrust. 

There was a deep sigh from Alec as he finished inside of Magnus, his hips suddenly jerking forward with an obvious finality. Magnus now moved his hands to Alec's chest, gingerly pulling up Alec's shirt, before slowly running his fingers along Alec's skin. 

"I'm sorry...about earlier...I was just...scared..." Magnus' voice sounded like it was about to break, as he looked up at his Shadowhunter. "I'm so sorry, Alexander." 

"Do you know why I didn't lose my life that night?" Alec's tone was at a whisper, as he peered down at his warlock. 

Magnus wordlessly shook his head, as he waited on Alec's response. 

"Because all I could think about was you. All I cared about was getting home to you..." Alec gently bent to kiss Magnus on his forehead, before he finished with his thoughts. "...I am only alive because I am so deeply in love with you, Magnus Bane." 

Magnus tried to look away as he felt his eyes tearing up again, but Alec quietly kissed Magnus' tears away, one by one. 

The early light of dawn now broke over the couple, as the sun's early rays made their way through Magnus' blinds. 

Magnus felt his heart shattering inside his chest, as he thought about Alec leaving for work so soon after he _just_ got him back... 

Magnus tried and failed to put on a brave face as he turned back towards his Shadowhunter. He couldn't even stop himself from spilling the truth of his emotions right to Alec's face. "Alexander...Please...Stay...I can't do this again, not so soon...I can't think about losing you..." 

"I'm not going anywhere..." Alec shifted until he was lying right beside Magnus, his arm strewn across Magnus' waist. "I'm not going anywhere, Magnus." 

"But won't The Clave have your head?" Magnus' spirit warmed at the thought of Alec staying by his side, as he happily tucked his face into the crook of Alec's neck. 

"It's alright...Jace is covering for me." Alec tenderly kissed the top of Magnus' head, before he took in a deep breath. "He's gonna'...uh...He's gonna' tell everybody that I'm having...bathroom...trouble..." 

Magnus shook with laughter against Alec's skin, as he closed his eyes, ready to drift off into sleep. "Well, my love, this is your first time playing hooky, after all. I'm sure you'll only get better at it." 

"Mmhmm. I'm sure." Alec soon closed his eyes as well, but not before lightly planting a kiss on Magnus' lips. "See you in a few hours, Magnus." 

"See you in a few hours, Alexander." 

The bedroom slowly warmed with serene sunlight, as Magnus and Alec slept beside each other until the very late afternoon.

**Author's Note:**

> spoilers: 
> 
> — THIS IS IT THIS IS THE LAST ONE SHOT I'M WORKING ON BEFORE GOING BACK TO MY MAIN FIC I SWEAR TO RAZIEL
> 
> — I don't know why I wrote this??? I have been listening to too much Lana Del Rey tbh (sad, sexy music about sad, sexy people)
> 
> — Also yes this fic title is based on [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OydK91JjFOw)


End file.
